Top 5 Worst Christmas Songs

#1. Christmas Shoes

This song is just manipulative.

“Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there’s not much time
You see, she’s been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus, tonight.”

#2.  Baby It’s Cold Outside by Rod Stewart & Dolly Parton

I love this song when it’s sung by Dean Martin.  And I like HALF of the version from Elf {the half sung by Zooey Deschanel, not the disturbing Leon Redbone part, which sounds like her grandpa is trying to seduce her}.   While that should be enough to put it on my list, the Stewart/Parton duet is beats it out on pure lameness.

#3.  Sippin’ in Seattle’s Latte Land by Duffy Bishop

If you don’t live in the Puget Sound area, you are lucky enough to avoid this stupid, stupid song.  It’s to the tune of Winter Wonderland and features the steam noises from an espresso machine in the background.  Yes, we get it. There is a lot of coffee in Seattle.  Aren’t you clever.

#4.  Do They Know It’s Christmas

If they do, it’s because of the wonderful impact that European colonialism had on Africa.  The gift that keeps on giving!

“Tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you.”

This song is just a tiny bit sanctimonious.

#5.  Merry Christmas Darling by The Carpenters

I am not a Carpenters fan.

p.s.  I’m really not in that bad a mood.  It’s just by about the 22nd of December I’ve listened to enough Christmas songs on Pandora and Warm 106.9 (what’s up, Delilah) that I have definite opinions.

p.s.s.  “Christmas is Coming” from A Charlie Brown Christmas is now on Pandora.  Very nice.  See?  I can be positive.

image from here

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